B.D. Jones Fashions
Jones Fashion wing has long been a respected dealer of fine quality
clothing and particularly, furs. B.D. Jones' expertise in the field
of fashion is unmatched, even among the world's leading fashion companies.
Brian At Home
wide selection of kitchen appliances, furniture, light fixtures, paints,
hardware tools, and has over twenty thousand interior decorators in employment.
The mission of Brian At Home is to beautify your home into the
paradise of Brian's own home.
B.D. Jones Websites
also fashions fine quality websites for the affordable price of 2 million
dollars per page. Some of our credits include the famous Golf Site, Jeff's
Hockey Site, the Colossus Site, and the Career Options Site.
The B.D. Jones Symphony
The JSO is one
of the world's leading orchestral ensembles. With 200 members, we perform
nightly at Jones Hall. From classical symphonies to recording film scores,
the JSO is capable of virtually anything under the experienced baton of
B.D. Jones himself. Concert tickets are ten thousand per person.
Jones' tradition handed down from B.D. Jones' ancestors. The Jones'
Clan has kept the recipe, which is essentially water, tooth paste, and
Listerine, a closely guarded secret for over a thousand generations. A
bottle of this costs two hundred and fifty dollars.
Excercise - Brianobics
When he was
a wee lad, Young Brian developed a way to boost his metabolic rate
exponentially. He discovered that by hopping from couch to couch during
the commercial breaks of a television show would increase his metabolism
to astronomical heights. Because this is a dangerous procedure (the boy
hurt himself on numerous occasions), B.D. Jones is willing to teach
his techniques to paying customers. Lessons start at two thousand dollars
The Jones Post
A brief, succinct and
to the point newspaper. A firm believer in only reporting what is most
important and only that news, every issue of B.D. Jones' official
newspaper contains only a single headline and not one article. This saves
paper and ink. It also takes less time to read, seeing as B.D. Jones
has always believed that issues such as politics, current issues, world
events and news in general is boring and if it was really that important,
we'd all eventually find out anyway. Generally, these cost about 50 dollars
Chez Jones San's Gourmet
Not your ordinary instant
noodles. Indeed, these noodles do not contain vegetables (which according
to B.D. Jones Labs, are not actually all that healthy), or forks.
They are essentially noodles, soup base, and a straw with which to eat
them. B.D. Jones has always felt that forks and chop sticks were
the most absurd and inefficient way to consume noodles and has generally
favoured the straw to suck up noodles. Each cup costs several hundred
dollars depending on the flavour, which includes exotic ones such as chicken,
beef, or water.
Onions: A Fragrance By
has a storybook beginning, when B.D. Jones was a young boy, he
one day took pity on his friends who he deemed smelled bad. So, he took
it upon himself to breathe on them after he had consumed a large portion
of onions. Feeling satisfied that he had bettered their lives, he knew
that he would one day be a major cologne and perfume maker.